the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
