Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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