He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
