i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
