I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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