she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
