he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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