totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
