Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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