Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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