im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
