If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
where are my eyebrows?
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