what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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