Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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