its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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