he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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