LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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