My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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