like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I fill condoms, not promises.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
