I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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