one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
