My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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