we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
