The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
