I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
