You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
