Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
