He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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