You're my little dorito
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
