god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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