So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
