Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
