Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
