I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
