it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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