so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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