I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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