I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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