A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
What drink are we having for lunch?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
