Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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