if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
