she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
How external is "for external use only"?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
