just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
wow bdsm is so cute
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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