I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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