Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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