When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
