roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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