She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
