whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
