I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
